ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
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o Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says

o Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

o Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted

o Drunk gets nine months in violin case

o Survivor of siamese twins joins parents

o Farmer Bill dies in house

o Iraqi head seeks arms

o Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

o Stud tires out

o Prostitutes appeal to Pope

o Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over

o British left waffles on Falkland Islands

o Eye drops off shelf

o Teacher strikes idle kids

o Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead

o Squad helps dog bite victim

o Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66

o Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

o Plane too close to ground, crash probe told

o Miners refuse to work after death

o Juvenile court to try shooting defendant

o Stolen painting found by tree

o Two soviet ships collide, one dies

o 2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter

o Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years

o Never withhold herpes infection from loved one

o Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84

o War dims hope for peace

o If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while

o Cold wave linked to temperatures

o Enfiels couple slain;  Police suspect homicide