> Every Rep down in Congress liked Clinton somewhat,
> Except for the Gingrinch, who simply did NOT
>
> He hated Bill Clinton He hated his wife
> He vowed to torment them the rest of his life
>
> The Ging hated anyone left of the Huns,
> He hated the wusses who didn't like guns.
> He hated the teachers who wouldn't lead prayers,
>
> He hated the people who'd tax millionaires
> He hated "McGoverniks" whining 'bout rights,
> Like equal protection for gays and nonwhites.
>
> He hated the folks who said "Nicotine kills"
> And vowed he would pass more pro-nicotine bills.
> He hated the folks who said "Women need choice"
> And vowed to give middle-aged males more voice.
> But he hated the people on welfare much more;
> He hated the way they were POOR POOR POOR
>
> He hated the way they had no jobs at all
> This struck him as heaploads of GALL GALL GALL
> They also lacked training and day care. So what?
> The Gingrinch announced he'd come up with a plot:
> "Get off of Welfare Get off today
> Or we will take all of your children AWAY"
>
> Now, no one knew what made the Ging such a meanie:
> It could be because he was built like a weenie.
> It could be because he had Donahue hair,
> Or maybe because not much lurked under there.
> But probably what most explained the man's life
> Was the fact he abandoned his children and wife.
>
> Yes, 'way down in Georgia, his wife lay near dead
> Sickened with cancer, in hospital bed.
> He crept in to see her (they let him, of course)
> And whispered, quite sweetly, "I want a divorce"
> He whipped out his pencil with something like zeal
> And got down to work on his alimony deal
> And while she was whimp'ring he said, "By the way,
> I'm leaving for somebody younger - hooray"
>
> The Gingrinch's heart shrank two sizes that night.
> And that could be what makes him so Christian Right.
>
> Now, the night before Congress the Ging hatched his plans:
> From now on he'd speak for, quote, "Normal Americans."
> Tax-slashers That's what those "Normal" folks love
> He'd take to the skies and dismantle the gov
>
> He jumped out of bed and he summoned his pet:
> A doberman pinscher who once killed a vet.
> George was his name (as in Wallace, not Bush);
> Boy" said the Gingrinch, "We're gonna whip tush"
>
> They flew to a soup kitchen, filled with sad "bums,"
> Snatched up the kettle and stole all the crumbs.
> They flew to a basketball game late at night
> And shooed the kids out, to the dealers' delight.
>
> They unplugged mass transit and cried "Buy a car"
> Then chopped down a forest and chomped a cigar.
> What bliss What fun What downright glee
> What joy What yuks What great TV
>
> The next day the Gingrinch sat high above view
> And looked down on Congress (as many folks do).
> He wanted to relish the joy and the cheer
> Of folks waking up to their first tax-free year.
>
> He waited and waited and waited some more;
>
> He waited to hear them cry "Newt Take the floor"
> He waited for kudos and champagne free-flowing,
> He waited for trumpets on high to start blowing.
> But instead of rejoicing and hoopla, etcet,
> He heard a strange rumble that made his palms sweat.
>
> The people weren't happy, not happy at all
> They ringed 'round the Statehouse They filled up the hall
> They groused and they grumbled and cried, "We're real mad
> We want all those costly old programs we had
> Give back our givebacks Give back our pork
> Give back the stuff you walked off with, you dork"
>
> And the Gingrinch sat simply quite stunned at the sight
> Of Normal Americans, not left and not right.
>
> They wanted clean air and they wanted green trees,
> They wanted-full coverage for medical fees,
> They wanted nice schools and streets safe to play,
> They wanted it all - they just  didn't want to pay
>
> And when the truth hit him, the Ging grinned a grin,
> He laughed and he laughed till the tears ran down his chin.
> The Clintons climbed up to the Dome, laughing too.
> "Hee hee hee," Bill and Hill laughed, "Hoo hoo hoo"
> They laughed with the cheer that comes from within,
> They laughed with the knowledge: You just cannot win.
>
> The Gingrinch and Clintons now shared the same plight
> Whatever they'd do, they could not do it right.
> "Folks hate you," said Bill, "once you land in D.C.
> But I've got a plan: Let us bond, you and me.
> We'll work as a team, yes That's my advice
> We'll listen and nod and make NICE NICE NICE"
> The Prez put his hand out, they hugged on the ledge...
>
> And then that old Gingrinch pushed Bill off the edge.