From sandy@home.actlab.utexas.edu  Tue Mar  5 20:36:39 1996
To: jsp
From: Aviva Rosenstein  (by way of
 sandy@actlab.utexas.edu (Allucquere Rosanne Stone))
Subject: Forwarded mail...

17 of these actually apPLY to me... aaaaaack....

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Mon, 04 Mar 1996 22:39:01 -0500
From: Jeffrey P. Jones 
To: aviva@actlab.utexas.edu
Subject:

You just might be a graduate student if...

 ...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
 ...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
 ...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
 ...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
 ...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
 ...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
 ...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while
    researching a single paper.
 ...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
 ...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
 ...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at
    the library.
 ...you look forward to summers because you're more productive
    without the distraction of classes.
 ...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
 ...you consider all papers to be works in progress.
 ...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
 ...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than
    the actual text.
 ...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are
    now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
 ...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
 ...you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you
    realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".
..you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
..you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting
  scurvy
..you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
..you have more photocopy cards than credit cards
..you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as
  "personal communication"
**********************************************