Berkeley California

  "Berkeley California"

   (Sung to the tune "Hotel California" by the Eagles)

    In a dark dim machine room
    Cool A/C in my hair
    Warm smell of silicon
    Rising up through the air
    Up ahead in the distance
    I saw a Solarian(tm) light
    My kernel grew heavy, and my disk grew slim
    I had to halt(8) for the night
    The backup spun in the tape drive
    I heard a terminal bell
    And I was thinking to myself
    This could be BSD or USL
    Then they started a lawsuit
    And they showed me the way
    There were salesmen down the corridor
    I thought I heard them say

    Welcome to Berkeley California
    Such a lovely place
    Such a lovely place (backgrounded)
    Such a lovely trace(1)
    Plenty of jobs at Berkeley California
    Any time of year
    Any time of year (backgrounded)
    You can find one here
    You can find one here

    Their code was definately twisted
    But they've got the stock market trends
    They've got a lot of pretty, pretty lawyers
    That they call friends
    How they dance in the courtroom
    See BSDI sweat
    Some sue to remember
    Some sue to forget
    So I called up Kernighan
    Please bring me ctime(3)
    He said
    We haven't had that tm_year since 1969
    And still those functions are calling from far away
    Wake up Jobs in the middle of the night
    Just to hear them say

    Welcome to Berkeley California
    Such a lovely Place
    Such a lovely Place (backgrounded)
    Such a lovely trace(1)
    They're livin' it up suing Berkeley California
    What a nice surprise
    What a nice surprise (backgrounded)
    Bring your alibies

    Windows NT a dreaming
    Pink OS on ice
    And they said
    We are all just prisoners here
    Of a marketing device
    And in the judges's chambers
    They gathered for the feast
    They diff(1)'d the source code listings
    But they can't kill -9 the beast
    Last thing I remember
    I was restore(8)'ing | more(1)
    I had to find the soft link back to the path I was before
    sleep(3) said the pagedaemon
    We are programmed to recv(2)
    You can swap out any time you like
    But you can never leave(1)

    [ substitute whirring of disk and tape drives for guitar solo ]